If I was a bear and I had to write an essay…well you get the picture.
I hate essays so much, I would gladly swap having to write an essay with any of the following situations :
I would wash a stack of the dirtiest, mouldiest, smelliest dishes with a smile on my face if it meant I didn’t have to do an essay.
I’d happily drool all over myself during a long, painful and annoying dental procedure to avoid reading up on information to shove into my essay.
I’d walk a mile in dog poo to avoid looking for quotes to put in my essay that no one actually cares about.
I’d be the first to buy a ticket on a long haul flight full of crying babies if it meant I didn’t have to devise a way to put my essay points together in a way that makes some kind of sense. I’d do a round the world trip. Seriously.
I would willingly read war and peace sustaining a papercut every time I turned a page to avoid having to think up enough meaningless crap to say to meet the word count requirements of my essay.
I would cheerfully walk up to an ex or bunch of people who hate my guts while looking my absolute worst to avoid the excruciating task of referencing. correctly. every time. in the right style. with the right thing in italics. that idea that you found in a book that was mentioned on tv that you found a link to an extract from on the internet.
I would rather take a spectacular fall in a public place in front of lots of people than double space and proof read that essay and then find that I haven’t mentioned something that probably needs to be in the damn essay for it to have any hope of passing. Even if that fall happened while I was walking down the aisle and I ripped my wedding dress I’d still be happier than if I had to re-write that source of all evil essay.
Sorry there haven’t been any posts in a few days, I have had essays to do.
What would you do to avoid writing an essay? tell us in the comments section.
Thanks for checking out my blog 🙂
All images taken from Google Images.