Just watch and listen.
On Saturday I was at a friends house warming party. I had been sent some Pizza Hut vouchers, a bingo game and Casino Royale on DVD by Costa Bingo and I decided to put it all to good use.
Which led to the invention of Drunk Bingo.
To play Drunk Bingo you drink everytime one of your numbers comes up in Bingo and if you win you have to finish the rest of your drink in one go. Our winner also got the Casino Royale DVD and the last slice of pizza.
I don’t drink alcohol so I called the bingo numbers and watched my friends get tipsier and more competitive with each number I called. Here are some pics from the night. I think you will be able to tell who won.
Turns out that a game of Drunk Bingo is a good way to get a party started
Have you ever played or invented any random drinking games? Tell us about them in the comments section.
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Herbal Orgasms? No I’m not talking about some new sex product or drug.
The product that I am talking about however does apparently make you feel ‘fulfilled’, ‘satisfied in a way you never thought possible’, ‘excited’, and it seems that there is just no way to avoid moaning with pleasure when you use it.
So what is it?
Herbal. Essences. Shampoo. S-H-A-M-P-O-O. The goo that you clean your hair with. It doesn’t even matter which one as, according to their adverts, women find all Herbal Essences Shampoo orgasmic.
I find their adverts ridiculous. There are some below for your viewing pleasure
Fair enough, the adverts can be witty, tongue-in-cheek and admittedly amusing. If it was just one advert that played to the orgasm angle it probably wouldn’t bother me. But all of them? Does someone in your advertising department have a shampoo fetish? Do women usually turn to shampoo for sexual pleasure? Is your shampoo so bad that you can not advertise any selling points like how it makes hair shiny, smooth, soft or fragrant?
And don’t even get me started on being transported to a jungle, or a waterfall or becoming the goddess of a tropical island full of guys ready to worship my orgasmic hair.
That isn’t usually what I look for in a shampoo. I want nice hair.
What I don’t want is to answer the door to the postman and suddenly have Herbal Essences convincing him that my TV in the next room is blasting out porn.
Sort it out Herbal Essences.
So what do you think? Do adverts like these annoy you too or am I just a sour puss? Maybe it isn’t shampoo Ads. Maybe it’s perfume Ads. God. What is it about expensive perfume that transports you to the window at the top of a building and makes you want to gaze at the city lights below?
Maybe…just maybe…I have a thing about adverts.
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For any of you who make youtube videos or are thinking about making youtube videos I have created a Facebook Group called: Youtube ‘get more views’ Community. Feel free to go join it. It is about getting more views and subscribers for your youtube videos so there are 2 rules – subscribe to other group members channels and watch their vids.
Here is the link to the group : http://www.facebook.com/groups/128940443928812/#!/groups/128940443928812/
Hope to see you there
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I have just been nominated for the ‘Loved Blog’ Award. Tianna from storybook apothecary nominated (go check out her blog, it’s great http://storybookapothecary.com/ ) Thanks Tianna
The rules of the award state that I must :
1.Thank the person who gave you the Award. Thank you Tianna x
2.Give this Award to as many or as few bloggers as you like as long as you love their blog. State the reason(s) why you love their blog. (remember to tell them that you have nominated them.)
I nominate :
http://mademoisellesnow.wordpress.com/ This is my idea of the perfect fashion blog – lots of catwalk galleries from known and unknown designers, plus lots of fashion orientated features ( the latest one is a video of behind the scenes at Victoria’s Secret) This is one of the few blogs where I will take the time to dig around in the archives if I have some time to spare.
http://sweetjellybean.com/ - a blog about motherhood, beauty and DIY’s. Her DIY’s are mostly blog orientated, with things like how to create a blog header (it was thanks to her tutorial that I was able to create the header that I have now) and how to resize and line up social media buttons, there is tons of stuff on her blog that is useful to all bloggers so go check it out and improve your blog
http://creativityarise.com/ this blog is full of really simple and inspiring DIY’s, Brittany really inspires me, she has everthing from jewellery display DIY’s to how to make your own headboard for your bed, she is definately not a woman who needs a man to do the DIY in the home, she does it herself and shows you how you can too. She also has personal elements to her blog so you can either be inspired by her DIY’s or just check out what she has been up to lately, It’s all round a good blog.
(Just a note to all the people that I follow, even those who I have nominated, I am not getting all of your post updates in my wordpress reader, this is what I use to read blogs so if your post doesn’t appear there I probably won’t visit your blog for a while, when I checked on Brittany’s blog I was surprised, so many posts that I haven’t been notified of, if anyone knows how I can fix my reader please let me know)
3. Post a link to your favourite blog post from your own blog.
Just had a quick look, I have a few posts that have got debates started and that I think were important to write but my personal favourite when I read it back was just a random posts that I had written while in a bad mood. It wasn’t intended to be funny and I didn’t find it funny at the time, I remember feeling really frustrated but I find it funny to read now so maybe you will too : http://beautyandthebestoftherest.com//?s=werewolf+problems&search=Go ,
4. Answer the following 3 questions :1. If you could be a celebrity for a day who would you be and why? 2. If you could have one wish granted what would it be? 3. What is one thing that you just don’t understand?
1. Hmm I had a think about it and I’ve decided on someone that I’m not even a fan of, not that I don’t like her, I’m just not fussed about her (or most celbs for that matter). I would be Dakota Fanning for the day because she has been in so many movies that I would want to see how many scripts she has lying around her house just waiting for her to say yes or no to, there are bound to be some good reads there.
2. My wish would be to be a mega successful author.
3. I don’t understand why people like butterflies, they are massive hideous insects with pretty wings. Am I the only person who is not blinded by the wings?
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Here is part 3. Hope you enjoy it Please comment if you would like more.
I’m waiting on the bus with my hand in my pocket clutching the little pink envelope. I have to keep touching it so I know that it’s real. My stomach is churning as I get on the bus. I feel guilty, like one of the other passengers is going to realise that I am clutching Adrian Axel’s mobile number in my hand and call me out on it. I find a seat near the back and contemplate texting my sister. Robyn needs to know about this, she will know what to do. I think better of it though, patience is not one of her virtues and as soon as she read my text she would just call me with a bunch of questions that I don’t want to answer on the bus. I gaze out of the window wondering if Adrian Axel is expecting my call.
Robyn is finally home, she got home an hour after I did but it was a long hour. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read the card from Adrian Axel. I think I know his mobile number by heart now.
Robyn walks in to the kitchen and I hand her a cup of tea. She takes a sip, eyes me over the cup and says ‘Spill’. She knows me well.
‘He sent me flowers’ I tell her, handing over the little pink message.
She reads it quickly and then puts her cup down and heads out of the kitchen.
‘Robyn!? Where are you going? I could use some advice y’know.’ I say huffily , following her into my bedroom.
She scans my room.
‘Where are the flowers?’
I explain how Samantha’s interference led to my flowers going home with Mel.
‘We’ll have to get her back for that.’ Robyn says simply once I have finished my Samantha story. My big sister is a big fan of the ‘don’t get mad, get even’ philosophy. After placing Samantha firmly on her mental blacklist she turns her attention back to the matter at hand.
‘I need to know what the flowers looked like.’ She says, taking a seat on my bed.
‘Because the card sounds pretty flirty, it’s not a bog-standard ‘Thank you’ card, and it has his number on it. He wants you to call him, so he probably wants to see you again. What type of flowers did he send you? Were they roses? How big was the bouquet?’
Robyn fancies herself quite the detective, but she’s never given me bad advice before so I answer her questions.
‘I don’t know what they were, definitely not roses, but a mixture of all different flowers, mostly pink, purple and white ones. I didn’t pay them much attention. The bouquet was quite big.’
‘Roses would have been easier to read but he sent you flowers and gave you his number. He is not just thanking you for doing your job. You have to call him.’
‘ No. I can’t. You know I can’t. He’s Adrian Axel. What am I supposed to say to him? ‘Hi Adrian, about those 20 questions…’ No. I don’t think so. I’ll say something stupid. What if this is what celebrities do to say thanks. What if he gave me his number so I can ask for tickets to one of his film premiers or something?’
‘Stop over thinking it. He’s a guy, he gave you, a girl, his number. He’s interested in you. It’s that simple.’
‘If it’s that simple, why does it matter what type of flowers he sent me?’
‘I just wanted to know if they were roses, it doesn’t really matter. Give me your mobile.’
‘It’s not like I’m going to just ring up Adrian Axel Wren, give me your phone, you’re going to text him. Well technically I’m going to text him because it will take you ages to figure out what to say and then you will want me to read it over before you send it anyway. So I’m saving us sometime and skipping a step. Give me your phone.’
‘Ok, but let me read it before you send it.’
I give her my mobile and she has one last quick read over the card before typing my message.
‘Done.’ She says handing the phone to me.
I look at the screen, but I only see the number from the card and the calling symbol. I just have time to glare at Robyn who gives me her Cheshire cat smile and then I hear a very famous voice.
‘Who’s this?’ it says brusquely.
‘Uh.. Hi. It’s Wren, I mean Mel, Mel from ‘The Barn’. I mean, you think my name is Mel but it’s actually Wren… uhhh, I’m the girl who dressed you in a tracksuit and Burberry cap.’
‘Did you like the flowers?’
‘yeah, they were really nice. Thank you.’
‘Where is good to eat in Glasgow?’
‘Umm, China Buffet King?’
‘OK, Meet me there at 9.’
He hung up.
He hung up on me! And asked/ordered me to dinner. I think. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to do. Actually I do know what to do.
‘Get out of my room Robyn.’
‘Need some time to swoon? She says, sauntering by me, Cheshire cat grin still all over her face. She knows that I’m mad at her but she doesn’t care. ‘ I’m going to have a potnoodle and then I’ll do your hair for you.’ she calls on her way to kitchen. Robyn is a hairdresser.
I flop onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. I don’t know if I’m thrilled or infuriated . I stare at the glow in the dark stars stuck to the ceiling and replay my conversation with Adrian Axel in my head. I decide that I’m infuriated. I’m not going to dinner with him.
I order a Chinese and turn off my phone.
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Hey As a Glaswegian, I have brought my readers a few insights into life in Scotland, as those insights have always had a good reception, I thought that I would bring you some more. Just to let you know, in some of the videos embedded in this post there is swearing so if you are uncomfortable with that it may be best to avoid them.
These videos have it all : the good, the bad and the ugly
- Glasgow has frequent and reliable public transport, but there is always going to be at least one complete nutter on or interupting your bus.
2. Glasgow also has a wealth of street performers, with different ones performing and busking all over the city centre every single day. Unfortunately they are often interrupted or harrassed by idiots.
3. Glaswegians have a reputation for being able to hold their alcohol. However this has made some Glaswegians think that they are immune to alcohol and they continue drinking long after they should have stopped.
Want to know the interesting thing about all of these videos? Look at how the ordinary everyday people in the videos react to the nutters. They don’t give them a second thought. Their attitudes illustrate more than anything else just how often madness like this occurs in Glasgow. As your reading this post, some Glaswegian, somewhere in Glasgow, is doing something youtube worthy for it’s stupidity/craziness/drunkeness.
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Hello Magazine and Advert people. I am writing to you because there are some things that you should know.
1. If you are advertising mascara on T.V and I see a tiny little anouncement saying ‘enhanced in post production’ or ‘styled with lash inserts’ I wil never ever, ever buy your mascara. Ever. Those 2 little statements basically just say ‘our mascara is so rubbish that we won’t show you how it looks in real life’
2. If you are advertising shaving products, I do not want to see gorgeously bare sleek legs. I want to see gorrilla legs. I want to see your shaving product turn those gorilla legs into gorgeous sleek bare hairless legs. If you manage that, I might give you a shot.
3. If your magazine has an advert on every other page I will stop buying it. I’m talking to you ‘Glamour’. There are some things that I love about your magazine – you have informative articles, decent free products every so often and I love the ‘Hey it’s ok’ page but enough with the ad’s! Just how skint is the magazine that you need to sell so much ad space?!
4. Again, this is aimed at Glamour – who was the genius that decided that the ‘Glamour to go’ winners win a digital camera? Sure a digital camera is not to be sniffed at but when it’s the prize for sending in a photo of yourself with glamour magazine in an exotic location, it doesn’t make sense. I bet the majority of your winners took their winning photo on the digital camera that they already own. Give them an Ipad or something.
5. To ALL womens magazines - Just how much do your writers get paid? It must be a heck of a lot because in just about every woman’s magazine on the market, I can find find a bag for ONLY £500 or shoes for ONLY £300. From your fashion savy bargain-hunting writers I want to see deals similar to the ones that even I manage to find. Gorgeous dresses for £15 not £150.
6. Putting ONLY in front of a high price does not make me think that the product is indeed a ‘steal’, it makes me think that you are thick.
7. Some of us are swayed by free products. If I get something free with your magazine and my regular magazine isn’t offering any free products, I will probably be tempted to dump it for your magazine. Just sayin’.
8. You know those pages that are thicker than the others? the ones that feel a bit like card? usually in the middle of the magazine with an advert on them? Yeah? You’re using them wrong. The ‘hard’ pages should only be used for perfume samples. Those are the only pages that I’m used to being hard. The ones where you open the tab at the edge and smell perfume. If it is just a normal advert it can just have a normal page and stop thinking that it is better than all of the other adverts. It’s not, it’s usually for something more expensive and therefore more annoying.
9. Why do any of you use naked/nearly naked women to try and sell other women products? I mean I know that stereotypically guys are more likely to buy a car if a nearly naked woman is sitting on the bonnet, but that same trick doesn’t work with us and I’m sure that if I have any lesbian readers that they will tell you that it doesn’t work with them either.
10. Be careful with celebrity endorsements. If that celebrity has always had great skin and suddenly she can’t live without your new skin care product that came out yesterday, I will know that she doesn’t give a damn about your product and is just concerned with £10,000 she got for saying she ‘uses it all the time.’
So, I hope this is helpful for you. I expect better adverts and magazines in the future.
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So something amazing happens and you are granted 3 wishes. Maybe you rubbed some old lamp, helped a leprechaun find his pot of gold or fed a unicorn a sugar cube. Whatever. The point is that you have them so you are going to use them. But there is a catch. They have to be selfish. None of this saintly wishing for world peace or feeding the hungry or curing cancer drivel. Sure those wishes are all very noble and worthwhile and should be your top priority but tough, your wishes come with a set of terms and conditions.
Those terms are:
a) your wish must be selfish, i.e you must wish for something that you desire and it can’t be something that a holier than thou Miss World candidate would cough up.
b) your wish must at least be an attempt at originality, you wished to win the lottery? So did 5 million other people, guess how much you won?
c) standard wish rules apply- i.e no wishing for more wishes etc.
So if I somehow managed to feed a unicorn a sugary treat and was granted 3 wishes, here is what I would wish for :
1. Lisa Eldridge to do my make up on my wedding day and to give me one of all of her favourite products as a wedding gift.
2. For any book that I have read that goes on to be made into a film, I would have sole authority over who plays the main characters. No more disappointment when the actor or actress looks nothing like the character I imagined in my head. Plus if the Forbidden Game series ever gets made into a movie, Yours Truly will be guaranteed to be playing Jenny.
3. Now this wish is very selfish and a bit wierd. Have you ever had a dream and someone completely random has popped up in it? I have, people that I don’t think about when I’m awake have somehow managed to wander their way into my subconscious. This got me thinking, I wonder which people out there have had dreams about me? Have I been a flesh-eating zombie in the local lollypop woman’s dream? I just don’t know, and I want to know, so my 3rd wish would be for a dvd archive of all the dreams that I have ever featured in. I would just wake up in the morning and on my bedside table there would be dvd’s of all the dreams that I had appeared in that night, letting me watch the dream like a film and the credits would simply read ‘Produced by X’s subconscious’. Not that I think heaps of people are dreaming about me or anything, it’s just that when they are, I would like to know about it.
Not what you would wish for? Tell us your wishes in the comments section
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P.S I’m now on Twitter, you can follow me @BreigeM